394 pages - Approx. 105,000 wds.

In the midst of my day to day madness I long for simpler times, and days end am left with only my longing."

The world knows James T. Phalen as a Harvard educated, well-heeled baby-boomer banker/investor/lawyer, one-time farmboy from rural Texas and one of the wealthiest men in America. What the world doesn't know is that James Phalen, the youngest of three Phalen children, is fighting personal demons, as he struggles to come to grips with stilted childhood memories. Jim finds himself at a place where fame and fortune are not enough and questions his whole being. What now?

Jim's one painful regret is that he cannot recall a single playful moment spent with his stern and rigid father, who in most respects was a model parent. He still remembers the lasting sting of disappointment he felt as a child, whenever his father chose to do 'more important' things. He is surprised that even at 41, such memories still weigh so heavily upon him.

"Surely by now, such things would have long ago faded into the foggy domain of lesser things." They had not.

As a young boy, Jim Phalen ate, slept, and dreamed baseball. He fondly recalls his very first Little League game and his stunning heroics that won the game for his beloved 'Rosedale Dodgers.' That lasting memory was also laced with regret that his father hadn't been there.

That and other failures symbolized the absence of a deep heart and soul connection so vital to fathers and sons. It is an absence that cannot be filled completely. No amount of wealth and fame can fill the emptiness. That's what Jim feels now. The pain has been masked by success, not erased.

Now, his father is seriously ill and only a shadow of the tall, proud man he once was. Jim comes to realize that being a billionaire and having the material world on a silver platter can't provide him memories of experiences he never had. He finds himself longing for the joys of a simpler life and wondering just who James Theodore Phalen really is.

Jim remembers the soft sweet voice and the intoxicating fragrance of the high-school sweetheart everyone thought he'd marry. He daydreams of sauntering barefoot with his siblings down a quiet, secluded country road, skipping stones on a crystal-blue lake in the summer sun and enjoying the company of long-ago friends. Jim wonders about these friends and whatever happened to their lives over the years–years passed so quickly. In his night dreams and daydreams, he still sees their youthful faces and hears their distant voices.

Most importantly, his mind is awash with thoughts of the father he never really knew and understood. And more and more he hears the reverberating footsteps of time and knows that life is slipping away a day at a time. He focuses on the new millennium with a degree of foreboding and begins to audit his life. Jim is driven to seek resolution. But is it too late?

One thing is certain; his life has reached a moment of decision. Then there is Alise, a brilliant woman, successful author, the love of his life–a girlfriend whose caring and support has been and continues to be so vital to his life. How can he tell her that he is being drawn by an irresistible force demanding he return to his roots, that he confront his fears–his demons?

With is father near death and his mind swirling with stilted and unresolved memories of him, Jim is forced to confront the truth about his childhood and about how he views his father. At forty-one years of age, he realizes that what matters most are the memories or lack of memories. He lures us into his life–his world where his billions and his successes are not enough to guide him through the pain and conflict.

Jim stands at a crossroads, facing a momentous decision that could alter his life forever. Time is running out. Has he arrives at the station just in time to catch the last train home?